Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Generally "Best Friends"...

There is a funny little generalization out there that explains how everyone in each group of friends has a specific role, and that these roles are standard in every group: the tomboy, the tough one, the wuss, the risk taker, the joker, the beauty, the nerd, etc... Sure, this is sometimes true, and that's fine because these characters can coalesce, but what about the two members of the group who are even closer friends, even, and perhaps especially, in the absence of the others?
See, it's been my personal experience as well as my observation of others that these two people eventually fall into two very specific roles themselves: the leader, and the follower. The astounding part is that these two individuals can be extraordinarily independent and defined people in any situation until a conflict with their "best friend" counterpart occurs. In such a situation, a status quot that was devised somewhere near the beginning of the friendship is put into effect, and one friend releases their frustration while the other makes a feeble attempt to argue their point, eventually giving in to avoid possible friendship-traumatizing resentment. Nothing is ever settled, and this becomes a vicious circle that has the horrible habit of leading to the eventual termination of the friendship, and not on the best of terms.
I can't be the only one to have witnessed or experienced this, and I have played both rolls in the "best friend"ships that I've had throughout my life, but what is the solution? What is the compromise? How do we find a common ground between two people who are fortunate enough to be closer than sisters but handle conflicts so ineffectively? It is neither friend's fault. It seems that this role playing game is some sort of naturally occurring order. Who knows why, and who knows how, but as girls, catty as we are, we should realize how fortunate we are when we find a person compatible enough with us to be considered our "best friend".
Like any good Discovery Channel documentary, I have no conclusion or solution to this problem, but I'm posting this purely as food for thought in the hopes that someone somewhere will experience an epiphany (or a "light [shining down] from...somewhere" as Obama put it when telling people that voting for him would be a divine epiphany) and share the wonderful solution with the rest of us. Maybe then we'll be one step closer to world peace! There's incentive for you! :)

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